Kennedy’s Home
Beverly Hills, CA.
One Week Ago
It had been a pretty long week for Kennie, honey. My tootsies hurt, I needed a spa treatment, soak in a hot bubble bath but not too hot. After publicly divorcing Jonny on TV, I knew there would be some fallout. There are those that will never understand Kennie, it’s fine I’m a little difficult to figure out, but what had to be done was done and now I find myself looking forward to talking to my daughter about it, as I kind of neglected telling her I was going to do so. I am confident though that she will understand, they always do. I went and bought her a cake, sushi and even a new fanny pack, Gucci of course. She will be fine…
Twenty Minutes Later
“WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU DIVORCE JONATHAN! HE IS A GOOD MAN! A GREAT DAD! HE HAS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR SO LONG! WHY!?”, she screamed from the top of her lungs to the point I think some of the ceiling paint chipped away. Sushi was the least of my worries now, but I was still hungry. I didn’t even get a chance to kick off my shoes and relax, waiting for me as I walked in the door.
“Let me explain Sonya.”
“EXPLAIN!? WHAT IS THRE TO EXPLAIN MOM!? YOU ARE DESTROYING OUR FAMILY!”
That was a bit melodramatic, but I will let her vent for a moment before I finally shut this down and make the point, end it, then we can hug it out and get some ice cream.
“Destroying? Why? Because I want what is best for the both of us Sonya? On your birthday he was going to buy you a scooter, I bought you a Mercedes. Isn’t that enough?”, there, I think I finally hit the nail on the head, honey.
“Give the damn Mercedes back and I’ll take the scooter if it means he stays here and still my dad!”
Okay, maybe not. Think Kennie, think what will win her over?
“Okay…. Okay. I’m breaking my own rules here but damn it, you’re worth it. Let’s go talk about this over an In N’ Out Burger and shake!”
She just rolled her eyes at me, I’m not a teenage girl these days, what is that supposed to mean, like okay? Sure mom, why not! Give me some inspiration here! Anything! Is she telling me off!?
“No! I want to talk about this now! I don’t want a dumb burger and shake!”, responding quickly before I could even get to finish my train of thought. Okay, she is a little mad, I get it, maybe I need to be a little more compassionate, show some tears? Where is that half cut onion, I always have laying around…
“I threw the onion away, nice try.”
You sneaky little vixen!
“I wasn’t looking for an onion Sonya, I was looking for my daughter who somehow is lambasting me without even hearing my side of the story! Like the rest of these people, all you want to do is crucify me!? That is cruel, I am the sun, light and moon of your day!”, now that should work, it came off very…
“Now you’re quoting Game of Thrones, whatever. I’m not dealing with this anymore! It’s not like he was unfaithful or anything like that! Were you….”
“NO! Of course not, besides honey when we get older that part of the relationship, you know…. The nookie, the, let me explain to you about the birds and the bees…”
“Mom, I’m almost 16, I know what sex is.”
The horror! All I did was gasp; my little girl was all grown up and she knew about sex!? I missed all her most important years making movies, so it was time to put on the Hollywood performance, dropping to my knees and gabbing her hand, screaming and crying…
“WHYYYYY!? HONEY WHY!!!!???? Don’t hate me! All I wanted was a better life for you!”, as I continued to scream and cry, peaking out with one eye, she was standing there with her arms folding not even reacting. Did my baby girl turn into apathetic to my needs and wants!?
“You’re a shitty actor, mom.”
“Oh my God! Take that back! I’m like really going to cry! Seriously! Take that back!”
“No! I will not take that back! Why are you divorcing Jonathan!?”, this time she had that look on her face that Michael Myers had when they took off his mask wearing that cute little clown costume. I needed to tell her the truth, it was the only way it would end this whatever it is we were having…
“Okay, I am going to tell you the truth. I had to divorce Jonny because, well…. He abused me…. Mentally. Sexually. Physically. It was bad, honey.”
“Liar!”
“Do you know what it is like having to do it Missionary style like every damn night!? Wait… I meant go to the mission and pray, that is what I am talking about, he always wanted me to go to a mission and tell God that….”
“Mom, stop. I know what Missionary style is. It’s when you lie on your back and the man….”, nope not listening to this from my 15-year-old, quickly pressing my hands to those sexy ears.
“LALALALLALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALLALALALALALA….”
“Really!? You’re going to tell me lies and then when I respond the first thong you want to do is plug your ears and scream!? I don’t even know you anymore or have time for this. I’m going to stay with Jonathan…. With DAD!”, this was not working out how I had planned and now she is threatening to go stay with Jonny? Oh, hell no….
“No, you’re not, you are my daughter and are staying here. Jonny is going back to Toronto, and I will be damned if you will have dual citizenship and eat poutine, becoming a hockey fan and saying “eh” every other sentence! Now go to your room!”, I said with a stern warning, pointing to the stairway as she was huffing, puffing and all kinds of….
“I HATE YOU!!!”
…. And wait… what!? Why I ought to…. And just like that she ran up the stairs and completely disrespected me? ME!? Doesn’t anyone on this planet sympathize with my feelings!?
I am the victim here, honey!
SCENE FADES
REC:
We See Kennedy Street in all of her glory wearing a red body suit and open toed Louboutin Heels, long wavy blonde hair hanging down and nails polished clear. With her is none other than her bodyguard and friend, Brittany Lohan. There is no one that wants this Trios Contract more in the tournament than Kennedy Street, especially after coming back and not getting the respect she feels is deserved. Besides that, she shocked the wrestling community when she divorced her husband, Jonathan Knots or at least served him papers live on Breakdown a few weeks ago, that was also after Cian O’Dwyer the head man in charge that took over for Mr. D basically told her that she isn’t worth anything and has to prove it.
Now she finds herself teaming up with Asher Hayes and Tommy Valentine, ready to do whatever she can to win this Trios Tournament and bet that contract she covets so much. As the camera records, Kennedy sits on a plush couch sipping her wine, the Houston skyline can be seen behind her from the suite balcony.
“LOOK AT ME HONEY!
Am I not a sight to see? That was a rhetorical question there is not a need to answer this. Let’s talk about what is most important right now, the White Elephant in the room, and no it is not Brittany Lohan, just kidding, love you mean it. Everyone including ALL the tabloids are on my story, Kennie Divorces Jonathan Knots. There are GIF’s of Jonny crying, memes which show his face and now everyone uses it when they want to react at something funny. No, seriously Jonny needs to understand that sometimes things simply do not work out. This was for the best honey, Jonny is too frugal, he gets in my way of stardom, it’s such an abusive relationship when you give lip to Kennie about buying a pair of shoes, I mean COME ON! I’m not saying that Jonny isn’t a good man, a tremendous father and a half-way decent husband, I mean he loved me with all his heart, and he was a symbol for all those poor saps that one day wish to be with a woman like me and won’t, yet what is the lesson learned here? Hope helps others cope with their failures and most importantly, their shortcomings, Jonny was the poster boy for it. He loved the spotlight, I just liked it a little more and was very supportive until he didn’t evolve with Kennie. I get it, you all think I’m a bitch, sure, whatever it is that floats your boat, tear me down to make yourselves feel better, that is fine honey, but when you look at the big picture?
Were we ever going to survive?
No, and everyone here knows it.
What I did was the inevitable, sad but true. There is a lot of hate mail, okay no one sends mail these days, I mean on social media, while everyone LOVES Kennie at the same time they sympathize with a lovable loser like Jonny, why? Because the hottest woman in the SCW and arguably the world married him, so they cheer the underdog, fine but Kennie is the victim here, not Jonny remember that. What really upsets Kennie though is this Irish Prick that comes to take over the SCW thanks to Mr. D and his stupid old man injuries when we all know that he signed me to a huge deal with perks and it is stated in my contract that Kennie gets PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT! Want to know what that means?
Kennie has her own parking space closest to the door, Kennie has her own caterer and dressing room, do we understand why Mr. Cian O’ Dwyer or whatever the hell your name is, honey? Think you’re going to walk into MY Supreme Kennie Wrestling and start changing the rules and the pecking order? Look, I already did everyone a favor and rid of that Jessica Tremor little snot and wiped her clean off the face of this company and you should thank me. I am the FACE of the SCW, not Selena Frost. I am the WORLD CHAMPION of this promotion, not Cid Turner. Kennie is ratings honey, spiking every time I am on TV, and you KNOW it, but instead I see a pissant that wants to try and rain on MY parade and make me pedestrian?
Not happening.
See, Kennedy Street is your TOP star, has been for a long time, even before I came back from making Hollywood Blockbusters, hence one of the reason I am divorcing Jonny, much as I love him? I have a reputation and appearances to keep, the only reason you have the casual fan watching this program and not all the fat marks, is because of KENNIE! Your 18-49 demographic when I am on the screen beats Monday Night Football, so I suggest that you take a step back and check yourself quick!
Brittany, the nerve, hug me.”
Brittany shrugs her shoulders as Kennedy stands up and if given a huge hug by Brittany to comfort her deep and dire straits for everything she is going through, such a traumatic time for her. Afterwards she turns back, fixes her bodysuit a little and turns again toward the camera….
“Honestly, I should be given an extensive paid holiday so that I can deal with this burdening trauma honey. Kennie is heartbroken, not even knowing if she can compete, that is bad, and it seems like none of you care especially the company I build and carry on my heels. I am a warrior though honey, a fighter and just like I soaked up the whole teaming up with a bunch of newbies that half of them are already gone from the SCW opening up PPV’s that I should be Main Eventing, I have been quite patient undefeated during this horrible turn of events, guess what though? Kennie loves her fans and will do anything for the SCW Universe! So yes, I have found the strength to compete in the Trios Tournament and when Team Kennie wins? I have my choice at so many options and the Irish Bug can’t do a thing about it. I have been robbed at Trios before though, my teams have always consisted of garbage like Havoc Warrior Exodus. Yes, but this year Kennie has two sexy middle-aged men in her corner, my old friend Tommy Valentine and a fan of Kennie’s Asher Hayes.
WE MAKE THE PERFECT TEAM!
Asher Hayes is everything you want in a wrestler, and he has great taste in admiring Kennie. Grant it he admires a lot of women, but he knows that I am the sexiest of them all! Right Asher? You better say it honey….
Ha ha ha ha ha! Just kidding a little humor…
… you better say it.
Asher brings the experience, complimenting my unrelenting wrestling ability and skill, he really is the anchor of this team while I pilot the ship. Then we have Tommy Valentine and honey, we go way back. Winning my first tag team title off him and David Helms with Dawn Lohan, the lovely sister of my muscle who also happens to like sluts, but we will get back to that in a minute. Tommy and I have had our wars, I became a TV Champion off Tommy, a guy I always respected and between you and Kennie, honey? Was always on your side, David and Regan can sometimes be suffocating, I get it…
… still love you too though!
But let’s sit the fuck down when it comes to the threats, okay? I know you want to throw your manhood around when all possible because Kandis has your balls, it’s fine, you’re simply Jonathan Knots in paint and a dad bod. Now that you had your little fill and trying to tell Kennie what to do, this is what really is going to happen, you’re going to know your role and do your part, because if there is anyone here that has dropped the ball more times than not?
Yeah, it’s you honey.
I’m a blue chipper, I am the STAR OF THE SHOW and the highest ranked wrestler in this company, so please cut the poop, we don’t need to fight amongst ourselves, get it out of your system, feel like a man again? Good, but just know you were never a bigger superstar than Kennedy Street, mmmkay? Good! Be more like Asher because truth be told, you need this Trios more than I do but I am willing to make sacrifices to get it, that is asking for a lot from Kennie. Asher and Tommy, we don’t just have a chance, we can win this entire thing as this team as the x-factor, the winning formula and three former World Champions, yet we need to work together, so selfless Kennie will be the glue that holds it all together.
Look at what we have to contend with on the other side? Jordan Majors, Christy Matthews and Kez. Slutty, ugly and witchy. Come on, we can definitely pull this off. First there is Kez, now Kennie teamed up with her at Apocalypse and the ONLY reason this match was not a YouTube exclusive, or a pre-show match was because I was involved. The SCW knew how to make the most uninteresting and uninvested match on the card into something that even the bathroom breakers would watch, me. Kez, we were on the same team and if I remember one you stole the pin from me after I basically did all the work. It’s okay, Kennie felt charitable that night….
… not so much on Breakdown.”
As Kennedy brushes her hair back and takes a sip of her wine, she clears her throat, Brittany though puts a mirror right in her face as she smiles and checks her gorgeous features quickly before continuing…
“Kez, you have made quite the impact, people are starting to notice you, yes you are welcome for that, but look at the two women that are standing next to you, one of them can’t make up her mind if she wants to fight for her daughter, the state of professional wrestling while having those hungry eyes on my brother-in-law and threatening to cheat on my sister with that butt-ugly thing Christy Matthews. Then you have Melancholy Majors who is a real downer to the point listening to her shoot earlier gave me suicidal tendencies for like a second, but wow, do I feel sorry for her! Jordan, honestly and this is Kennedy always speaking truth, I am incapable of lying, you have all the tools honey, problem is, you’re a cat in heat. You’re more concerned with fitting into the crowds than you are focused on your own career, here’s why, you kiss everyone’s ass. From Ace Marshall to Holly Adams to David Helms to any single breathing entity that gives you the time of day. Unlike Kennie, you don’t have a personality, drier than Christy’s vagina honey and we are talking Sahara Desert.
When it came to fame? Kennie was just contagious! It happened naturally because I have the charisma, gorgeous looks and smarts, the talent to back it up, I wasn’t the running joke as to which blonde woman would I be doing the hanky panky and adult with next. It totally sucks that you lost the Underground Title match to MY GIRL… KIMBERLY WILLIAMS!
Love ya babe!
But truthfully, the better wrestler won.
You’re the model of inconsistency and dating my old tag team partner and best friend? Much as I love Dawn she can do SOOOOOOOOO much better, honey, but who am I to judge? I am kidding, it’s Kennie doing whatever she wants, and I am going to make one recommendation, you better start thinking about what is next when you lose this tournament, it is definitely a far cry from the time you were Team Captain and was able to choose whoever you wanted with the first pick, when the best wrestler on there isn’t even you, it’s ugly mouthpiece wearing bitch, Christy Matthews.
We don’t like each other honey and never will.
You have something Kennie wants, as I climb to become a Supreme Champion with only two belts left, the Adrenaline and United States, you prevented me from winning one about four years ago. I have a receipt for you honey but where the problem lies is in you trying to win Lucas Knight over and try to rob my sister’s happiness?
Home-wrecking bitch.”
Brittany though leans in cutting off Kennedy…
“Actually, three belts now, Kennie. The Underground Championship too.”
“Thank you for giving me that nightmarish scenario Brittany, I’ll go throw up now thinking about that division. As Kennie was saying, while I was off in Hollywood walking the Red Carpet’s, touring the talk shows, giving SCW some much needed media attention all for free, you just existed Christy. It wasn’t until Lucas Knight revitalized your career, before that you were the 6th most important member of Infamous, but at least you beat out Holly who was the 7th, small victories, take them honey. Now you stand a dual champion looking for anything and everything to win a Trios and add more to it, not happening. See, Kennie is going to finally win a Trios, then I am taking what you have. Make no bones about it honey, Kennie is back at the top within no time with my notoriety alone already there.
That is beside the point Christy and while you still talk about being a pioneer for women’s wrestling..
“YAWN”
You haven’t done anything for it honey in recent years and now need a man to carry you on his back. One thing that is not going to happen, is my sister getting hurt, I will fight to the death to protect her!
Okay, maybe not death, that was a little overdramatization here, but you know what I mean, and Kennie is going to single handedly make sure that it is you that takes the fall at the hands of the SEXY FLAWLESS DIVA!
Then Asher, Tommy and I move on to the next round…
Why?
Because….
Kennie Is Cash!”
As Kennedy starts to giggle some, she winks, blows a kiss and sips the little bit of wine she has left while Brittany looks on with a smirk on her face.
FADE TO BLACK
/REC
KENNEDY STREET 